Barney Bear

There is a children’s daytime program called Barney bear. Barney is actually a robotic  creation of Microsoft corp transferred to TV, for obvious sales purposes. I feel sorry for the children on the show who spend the entirety of the show with over exaggerated smiles stretched across their faces as they shake about the set as if on amphetamines. It’s clear that they have been pre selected by plastic surgeons. I expect they will all go down the Judy Garland Yellow Brick Road; drugs, failed relationships, and alcohol. Thank god for the later. Of course they could also go the Thriller route and end up with plimsoll whitener on their faces and perchance for hanging their offspring out of windows. Fame feeds on itself.

Barney ‘transforms’ the original nursery rhymes  so as not to include any words which might cause concern amongst the anally retentive politically correct ‘adult’ mother and father viewers. Watching the show is akin to being force fed sugar. After only three days exposure you will develop a chant e.g. “I love you. You love me…”, “It’s a super Sun shiney day.”, “Squishy squishy squashy give your hands a washie”. I think the later songs is a tad suspect.

Now is the time to force a rusty nail through you hand and mark off the days with a crayon on the wall. Note. Sesame Street was used by the American Marines to break supporters of the late Saddam Hussein. It would be a mercy to kill the poor bastards.

If your an early riser (7am-8am) you simply must check out a children’s band called High Five on Channel 5. The group has three stunning women in it who leave nothing to the imagination, as they dance and stretch in front of a 4-7 year old audience. Those children think it’s fun, and I think go-go dancing is fun as well, especially when they are not wearing sports bra’s and the mammarys are bouncing around. The presenter of the children’s program session (Milk Shake) is a stunner as well and each day pouts towards the camera man wearing next to nothing. The BBC has nothing like this; Biddy Baxter would never allow it.

It’s  classic science experiment. It’s the one you learn before they show you the Vandegraff generator and how to light a fluorescent tube using 7 ‘volunteers’ from the class. It’s a mystery how we survived secondary modern science. It’s not a mystery why as a species we wont survive much longer.

Just as the candle in the bell jar consumed the air and eventually was extinguished we too will deplete the atmosphere, by obvious things such as coal fired electricity stations and by the inevitable things such as the need for every new born baby to breath.

As a species we are as a child; everything seems possible, and we have little understanding of the damage we do. On Easter island, when the trees were depleted their civilisation turned to sacrifice, and eventual extinction.