Dear Robert
Sorry I cannot be with you today to share in the delights of washing a baby in public. If things go to plan I should be pooing myself round about now. I’m using “bleeding edge technology” which is bleeding crap to deliver a new online system, which I promised everybody I could deliver in 4 weeks. Week 3. I believed the Adobe Acrobat hype about using the format to produce interactive web forms without the pain of HTML. But you have to register as an American citizen to gain access to the programming interface tools. Of course the rest of the world cannot do this as they may use the PDF files as weapons of destruction. Which is fair because I think I would go bloody bonkers after filling in the online data only to be told I have to pay in dollars etc. Bastards. Fucking bastards. Push the button now. Launch the missiles. Oh best to read this outside of a Holy place. Mind you the church is simply a male collective who seek to dominate and control by selling somebody else’s ideas e.g. “God simply wanted us all to live in peace”. You don’t need silly tunics and large COLD stone buildings to understand that. Bastards.
Anyway. The VCD’s are yours to keep, and if I was you I would take good care of them, as they will probably be worth a lot of money when we are both dead. If you want anymore let me know.
I have cold, and on Thursday I thought I would try one of those “24 hour” cures. Wow. I floated along the pavement, and don’t remember anything I did in work. Oh but wait, I did tell the manager to sit down and stop behaving like a child. Which he did, despite his Rugby physique? I wonder if I appear menacing to some people? I suppose I could be a Dr Evil for a while, until the death threats and guilt kicked in.
Must go the rushing sound in my ears is intensifying. Still have a cold, and I think high blood pressure.
Fuck it.